Session 13

Today we checked in by using a number scale. Each member held up on their fingers with what number they felt represented them today. The scale was from 0-5, with zero being the worst they could imagine feeling and five being the best. When we did this I saw no 5’s among our group but many 2’s and 3’s. We said nothing more about our numbers at that point but agreed to come back to it later if we wanted to.

We started the day by catching up in the workbook for chapter 17: No One is Perfect. It was difficult to list 3 weaknesses for many of the members; we spent quite a  bit of our time here, which is great because I believe most were really putting some thought into this. I asked each person to share just one of those weaknesses. Before we started I reassured them that I realize it may be difficult and our group is confidential and should be a safe place to share. In agreement we continued and noticed some similarities among us. L1 bravely started and told us she feels math is a weakness for her, her plan is to continue practicing during the summer. T feels like she doesn’t always listen to her mom and wants to instead start listening to her. M shared at this point that she felt the same as T and also wants to try harder to stop and listen to her mom. S1 related to L1 that math has been tough for her and she is also going to work hard and practice often. She spoke about getting help at the Club from one of the teens and feeling better about it. K feels she could listen more to her mom as well, she wants to try to understand more and change how she reacts when asked to help out around the house. H3 told us that he doesn’t always tell the truth and wants to put more effort into thinking before he speaks so that maybe he will catch himself. S2 feels uncomfortable speaking in front of large groups and plans to work on this by using opportunities to speak in front of smaller groups as practice.

 A large part of our conversation surrounded H2 when she asked if she could pass. I didn’t want her to pass because I felt like she had been a little bit disengaged already today and really wanted her to connect with the group and create some friendships. I thought for a moment and suggested that she ask our group. S1 was the first to speak up and provide feedback, she told H2 that she really likes to listen to others because she feels like then she may be able to help. L1 suggested that H2 give herself a limit of how many times she can pass per month. H2 told us she felt she wrote things that were really personal and could come up with a less personal example to share. This was great problem solving by the group.

 I feel like I say it every week but these are amazing kids! They supported one another and H2 challenged herself to feel vulnerable. She shared she struggles to ask permission to pet people’s animals. She thinks this may be rude and wants to work on being more patient and asking permission. At first I felt like H2 had dodged a bullet and was avoiding really answering the question but as I continue to think about it I need to remember that if she really feels strongly about it, that’s what matters. This could translate into other areas of her life as well. L1 said that it felt good to share and put it out there.

We then read chapter 18 and 19; they are really into this book and now when we stop to do workbook it’s not only L1 who gives me a sour face about it. The group seemed pretty excited to be taking something home and everyone was participating well in writing down worries to take with them .We set some ground rules for next session so that they felt comfortable to write whatever they wanted. For this we would only share about the experience of how it felt to write down our worries and put them somewhere safe for a night. They could share a worry if they want to but don’t need to.

We had a quick discussion about what to do with our remaining time as this session was flying by. I didn’t want them to be overwhelmed with two think and do assignments and gave the choice to them. Everyone was up for the challenge and wanted to do the activity for chapter 19 as well. We got out our Tuli stones and discussed our thoughts for next session.

I suggested that we continue to write things in our notebook that are personal if that’s what we feel we need. I reminded them that it is a safe place to write anything they feel and I will not look in them without permission. To avoid any group member feeling that they can’t share about what they write I suggested that if they are using it to write things they feel they would like to keep to themselves always be prepared with one thing they feel comfortable sharing. This way each of us can have a safe place to get out our feelings but can also engage in group discussions.

Next time we will have discussion about each experience and if we have time move on to chapter 20: Forgiveness.  Although our time was up all wanted to stay and talk a little bit about their numbers. Each member shared and did so without raising hands and waiting for me to lead! This was a great session for us!