Session 4: Improvisation

Today was a unique day, and in some ways I'm happy it was my first day blogging about my Manadoob sessions.  Before the class started, a youth at the Club that I have a close relationship came up to me and told me that she was having a sad day.  I took her out of the general chaos of the main Club areas to talk to her, and she revealed to me that her three year old dog had been hit by a car the day before.

We sat in the office and talked, her on the verge of tears and me more than a little touched by the difficulty she was having and the fact that she was willing to share with me.  I told her that I had a young dog when I was her age that had been hit by a car and remembered how difficult it is.  I also told her, tears close to my own eyes, that I couldn't imagine losing my dog now.

This young lady isn't in my Manadoob class, but I asked her up to it as a special guest and threw out my lesson plan for the day (I'll combine two classes down the line).  I saw an opportunity for her and for the Manadoob members to mutually gain.  She didn't want to talk about what had happened in front of the Manadoob class, it was still too fresh for her, so instead I had my Manadoob class pick out a Moobia stone and share a difficult story from their own life where they were sad, lost a loved one, or went through a similarly difficult time.  Not unexpectedly, losing a dog was the very first thing that came up, and BL shared that after her dog died she went behind the shed in her yard and cried all day.

Other youth shared difficult stories as well, and I could see some of the stress and sadness melting out of our honorary member.  By the end of the session some brightness had returned to her face and she felt...lighter to me.  I gave her the Moobia stones, the book that explained them, and the story book on loan.  I told her she had to give it back but that she could keep it for as long as she wanted.  The stone she chose was Rahwa, the stone of thankfulness, so the last thing we talked about was how we can be thankful even for sadness.  I asked the members who had spoken of loss if they would give up the memories of their loved ones in order to have never felt the sadness when they departed.  They all agreed that they would rather be sad than forget the people and pets that brought them such happiness.

I let our temporary member depart at that point, but asked her to keep the Rahwa stone in her pocket and to touch it whenever she started to feel overwhelmed by being sad to remind her of why she loved her dog so much.

We closed out the class with lighter fare, sharing our favorite books, songs, movies, even video games and why they were important to us.  When the class was over and I had collected all of the kits, I went back downstairs and, shortly thereafter, the girl who had lost her dog was called to the desk.  I went to see her to give her a hug before she left, and she was laughing with her friends and having fun in our Games Room.  Clearly Manadoob and our discussion had lightened some of her burden.  She no doubt has difficult moments ahead, but I think hearing others speak of their loss really touched her and reminded her that she wasn't alone.

Overall, I'm very happy with the improvisation, though I'm not sure if I should have pushed her to share or not.  I try not to do that but, given how much better she seemed to feel after hearing the others talk, it might have been good.  Either way, successful and rewarding day.

I also had HJ ask if he could share his difficult time after class.  HJ and I never had a relationship before Manadoob, but, just a few classes in, he came to me to share difficulties in his home life involving drug use and prison time among his parents.   He told me that he and his brother were both facing a very difficult time going forward.  HJ is one of the youngest members of the class, and seeing him in tears as he shared deeply personal information with me for the first time was very touching.  Manadoob continues to amaze.