It was an interesting day of Manadoob. There were some surprising revelations and an even more surprising bonding moment between two members who are usually at odds with each other. Most of what happened was unexpected in some way and the time seemed to fly by a little faster than usual.
First things first, KJ and RJ, the two of my members most likely to be negative and most likely to get in some sort of verbal altercation with each other had several strange moments of bonding today. We are in Chapter 5, and there is an exercise where members tell a story or create a story about a show of kindness between two people. KJ could not think of anything, and voiced this complaint more than once. I ran him through some scenarios, gave him multiple prompts, but for some reason he just didn't want to share a story about kindness. I honestly think it was difficult him, with what has gone on his life, to imagine kindness between two people. Surprisingly, RJ came to the rescue with a prompt that got the whole room laughing. She asked KJ what his favorite things were, to which he responded Pokemon and sushi. RJ suggested that he write a story about a Pokemon giving another Pokemon some delicious Sushi. It was a silly moment, and on the surface it doesn't seem like a big deal, but given the antagonistic history between the two of them, it represented a significant step forward.
RJ also gave me a teachable moment at the end of the class, and I think the lesson actually sunk in. RJ pulled out the Moobia Stone of Wisdom, Iduna and I asked her if there was anyone in her life, friends or otherwise, with whom she might cut ties and thereby make her life better. She responded that she wished she could cut the Boys & Girl Club out of her life and all of the people in it so she didn't have to see them anymore. This is a common theme with RJ, even though at home she seems to speak highly of the Club and its staff and has recently become much more accepting and open to attending. Still, there is obviously some rebellious and negative feelings. So I asked RJ if she had a choice of whether or not she came to the Club. She replied that she did not. What followed was a tense exchange, but I focused on the fact that you can't always choose what happens in your life or where you spend your time but that you can choose how you respond, how you view things, and that those choices can directly influence your happiness. I pointed out to RJ that much of her unhappiness comes from the friction that she causes with her confrontational attitude and her decisions to isolate herself. I challenged her to do this week's homework, to be nice for an entire day and see how it changed how SHE felt. I doubt she will be nice for a whole day, but even the attempt should prove illuminating for her.
It was really a strange class. Some deep issues came out unexpectedly and I don't think some of the kids were prepared. We are still in the early phases of the class where they are being eased into some of the heavier content and they were challenged by RJ's attitude and some comments about a friend who committed suicide from FR. It was good, but I could see that it was a bit overwhelming. I let it go on for a little while but then redirected the conversation and the theme of the class back to the topics at hand and a little lighter fare.
It is interesting, now that I am more experienced at facilitating the class, that it has in some ways become more difficult for me to stay on task as my increased comfort and more efficient techniques have translated into deeper and more startling revelations from many of the members. I am happy that I am achieving a greater amount of depth than my first class, but it is resulting in some interesting challenges for me as well. I really enjoy how the teacher role can so quickly become the student role and how often I find myself scrambling for an answer. I am learning as we go as well.
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