Session 10

This session felt a bit different from previous meetings right from the start.  It was the largest group so far in attendance and there was a different energy and attitude throughout the group. S2 ,who had been reluctant to participate last week, was the first to volunteer to help set up and to read.

As we wrote down our three strengths I explained that they would be asked to share at least one they felt comfortable with the group hearing about. S2 shared that she is supportive, L1 talked about her love for animals and ability to show empathy for others, H1 told us about his drawing skills and being a good bicyclist, H3 felt he was good at spelling and schoolwork, L2 mentioned his sense of humor, T feels good at sports, K was proud of her ability to cheer people up by being funny and the sound of her unique laugh, M knows how to be kind to her friends, and H2 struggled to share anything at all. She said that what she had written was too personal and she didn't know what to say. Before I could encourage her too much or ask the group to help, L1 spoke out and shared with the group that she felt H2 was friendly and told us how she has approached L.N. after the first session and told her how she noticed she was shy and asked to be friends. L1 told H2 that this helped her step out of her shell and participate more. H2 must have been pleased to hear this because she had a giant smile on her face and the rest of the group agreed that what L1 had said was definitely true of H2.

After this discussion I felt the group’s mood change a bit again, a little bit more restless than at the start and at this point I brought this up for the group to discuss amongst themselves. They brainstormed some great ideas to help keep the focus and stick to our code of conduct, specifically the part about being respectful of the feelings of others and how that may be influenced by how we participate and listen in group. We took a minute to be crazy and wild and after that started up again. We will be implementing ideas that came up during their brainstorming such as a word of the day based on how each member is feeling or a score for the day. H1 shared he felt these things could be very important in helping the group become closer and get to know one another better.

We moved on to chapter 14 and talked about the feelings associated with the thought of letting someone down and the fear of failing. Each member shared something about this:

K worries about forgetting a promise to someone and not doing well in school.

T shared a different perspective, that she isn't afraid of failing because she isn't afraid to try.

L2 worries about school and tests because he wants to get good grades.

H2 shared her strong feelings about not letting her mom down. She shared that she thinks lots of people have and that’s why her mom is so tough. H2 sharing this really touched my heart, she is so insightful and I've seen her concern and worry for others. I would say one of her many strengths is her ability to have empathy for others and try to help when she can.

H3 is not necessarily scared of failing but of the response from others if he does.

S2 isn't afraid to fail because she works hard and knows that if she continues to try she has some control over the outcome. What a positive and determined attitude!

H1 isn't too scared because he feels he has friends that will be supportive regardless.

L1 shared that she worries what her parents will think if she fails.

We talked a little bit more about what H1 had shared and the importance of being kind to yourself and surrounding yourself with people who will support you. I shared my view that maybe changing your perspective can help relieve the pressure to succeed. I gave the example of getting a lower grade in school than you had hoped, and how this could be viewed as a learning opportunity to help take away the negativity. 

I asked L1 if she thought her parents would continue to support her if she failed and she shared that yes they would and smiled at that thought.

Time had gotten away from us so we had to end rather quickly. We read the moobiki hint and the directions for the think and do activity, which was giving away the “I believe” charms. I encouraged them to write about the experience or take a picture if they would like me to send it in and return prepared to share who they gave it to and why.

Session 9

This session started a little bit differently than most, I felt it necessary to address the change in attitude among several in the group regarding attending Manadoob. I brought this up and asked for comments and questions from the group. L2 and S1 spoke about their homework burden and feeling they are pressed for time to keep up. K also mentioned this but unexpectedly got picked up directly following her statement. We talked for awhile about commitment and the attendance contract each of us had signed. I spoke to them of my expectations and the thought I would like them to put into their decisions in this area and of course in life. We talked about balance, using time wisely, using resources, asking for help, etc.

Once the discussion had died down we started on chapter 12. I read to them in an effort to save time and gave them some time to work on questions 1-3. The workbook asked us if we have ever felt different or odd and how that has made us feel. H3 said that he is the 4^th shortest in his class and it makes him feel really small. M shared that she is tall and she likes feeling different. Both S1 and S2 said that being different can feel both good and bad. S2 enjoys it when she gets compliments about being different and unique; she gave the example of when someone copies what you do how that is like a compliment. L1 shared that sometimes her shy quality makes her feel odd and out of place, it’s hard for her to speak out and step out of her comfort zone. She shared some advice her mother had given her: everyday is a new day and she can be a new person each day. H2 talked about being different in school and feeling really alone, she thinks of school as “a big bush with  lots of flowers and if you look closer some of the flowers are different.” She told the group that she feels out of place at school because only she and her friends live in mobile homes and are “not rich.”

When we got to the first think and do activity I felt the mood of our group change, it was silly and lighthearted. They enjoyed the break in deep thinking and took their time giggling and joking with one another about how their hands looked.

At the end of our session we picked stones and each shared which they had chosen.  They left wearing their sadiki wristbands and were excited for our next session. L2 told me as he walked out that he had changed his mind and was ready for next week. Since he had to leave we agreed to talk more about it later on. 

Session 8

Today I received a call from S2’s dad informing me that she would no longer like to participate in Manadoob. I spoke with him about options and asked if he knew why she would like to step away from the group. It sounded like maybe there was some confusion so I followed up with her before Manadoob today. S2 and I spoke about her reasons, which it seems stemmed from feeling overwhelmed at school and an upcoming change in her schedule. Her dad had mentioned she was nervous to tell me because she didn't want to hurt my feelings, so I brought this up in our discussion. I told her that it would not hurt my feelings and that the most important thing to me is for her to be happy and healthy at the Club. I asked that she think about her decision and reminded her of the attendance contract she had signed at the start of Manadoob this year.

When it was Manadoob time and members were lining up L2 also asked me if he could stay behind, which it was easier for me to tell him no because I understood his motives (that he wanted to stay back to play with a friend who had attended the Club that day). As I told him no I decided to also call S2 to come to class with us. I spoke with her and let her know I felt it unfair to let her step out as we had formed a close group and her decision would not only affect her but also the group as a whole. She accepted my statement and attended our group. I was also hoping that her feeling of being overwhelmed would pass and she should be encouraged to take time to make these types of decisions. I hope to also have a conversation with her about making it serve her best, maybe looking at it a different way.  Instead of another thing on her long list of responsibilities, maybe an opportunity to let loose and unwind.

We revisited the Iduna stone and the three uncomfortable things we had written and put in the pouch with it. I asked members to share one of the things they had written if they felt comfortable doing so. H3 shared that putting his negative thoughts away for awhile help him, he didn’t hide his excitement about feeling that the Iduna stone worked for him. M agreed that writing about things that bother her makes her feel better. T said that she wrote down her worries of paying bills like on the house, taxes, and having enough money for food. Her honesty was absolutely amazing and the way she said it shocked me. She was so matter of fact, like worrying about taxes and house payments are typical thoughts of a nine year old. We spoke a little bit more about this and I thanked her for sharing something so personal. S2 shared that she had written about her schedule change and grades being uncomfortable for her, she worries and wants to do well. The amount of pressure she puts on herself is obvious and I hope that throughout this year she will learn to take time for herself and learn to be kind to herself as well.

As we progressed to chapter 10, I was reminded of the extreme positivity of our group. Everyone moved quite quickly through the changing negatives into positives exercise and each member shared one that they felt applied to them personally. S2 spoke of sharing a room with her sister as did several of the other girls including M We also shared about chapter 11’s question regarding anticipation and every one was excited to put a sadiki sticker in its place for this section.

Taking into consideration the way our group started with two members wanting to skip our group I thought that it was time to shake things up a bit and give them some space at the same time. I offered them a choice, we voted, whether to continue on starting to read chapter 12 or explore our kits a bit. The response didn't surprise me at all; all but L1 wanted to explore the moobia stones and their meanings more so that’s exactly what we did for the last 5 minutes of class. I felt the energy in the room change as they moved about and hope that our wavering members will have a renewed interest for next session. 

Session 7

We started the day with recap for members who had been missing the previous week and continued on in our workbook to complete chapter 8. I encouraged group members to lead the recap and fill in their peers about what had been missed. I notice that when I start setup and handout materials the group has settled into a routine and a seating pattern.

I was a little worried going into this session because leading up to the start I had been talking with H2 who had a very rough end of the day. She had exchanged words with a Club member on the bus and was feeling particularly upset about the situation. I was worried H2 would be withdrawn and I didn't think she would even show up. I had given her the option to check in with me before Manadoob to let me know if she was up for it, she surprised me by taking her place in line and attending.

We started at question number four, talking about someone in life who understands you like Pete understands Wella. L1 shared that she feels her pets understand her; she described the personalities of her dog and bunnies and how they support her in different ways. She shared that she feels they are her “sun” they brighten her day and surround her with warmth. I appreciate L1 willingness to share about her pets and her bravery to challenge the rest of the group to think and answer these questions in whatever way may be their truth and not what they may feel is an “expected” answer.  H3 shared that he feels his mom really understands him and supports him. He told how she cheers for him during sports and he thinks that’s really nice. H2 shared, which I felt very proud of since she did have a trying day. It was a big step for her to remain open and willing to interact.

The whole group was especially excited to start an activity, which was starting their windsocks. I gave the directions several times, M still struggles to stay focused during our sessions and I think struggles to fully grasp what we are discussing at times. The group is patient with her but I think that they notice as well and wonder why.

We still had time so after discussing chapter 8 we moved on and read chapter 9 learning about the strange things happening to Wella, the feeling of being pushed toward the river and finding Cruz's bowl out. We worked on the activity, writing down three things that feel uncomfortable and putting them in the bag with the Iduna stone. We will wait for the next session to talk more about this and members left their pouches here at the Club to ensure we will be able to check on them next time.