Session 3 - 4

We have had several members who were absent at the first 2 meetings attend the group and it seems fitting to provide an introduction for them as well.

H1 is typically very social and interested in talking and sharing.  However, I noticed in Manadoob he was considerably more reserved. I am hoping this may be due to it being his first session and getting used to the group. He and H3 are good friends and I’m sure will benefit from the support of having one another as part of the group.

L1 is an eleven year old girl who I would consider to be a quiet but influential leader of the group. She has a calm presence and respectfully engages other group members. She seems to be quite dedicated to the program already and interested during our meetings.

K  is an energetic young girl.  She is open to sharing at every opportunity and seems to be excited about the program. She is friends with H2 but seems to be comfortable on her own.

T is a very quiet and sweet girl. She is very close to her siblings and outside of Manadoob spends much of her time with her younger brother in a caretaking role. She has become more confident within the group quickly and holds several qualities that remind me of L1

S1 I asked to join the group because of her very obvious quiet and timid personality. She was new to the Club this year and keeps to herself during free time at the Club. I am hoping Manadoob will be a good place to start in welcoming her to play a more active role in our “Club family.”

As far as our Manadoob session, I think that it went well. After adding several people to the group we had eight in attendance for the past two weeks. Our group seems to be meshing well and generally happy with the time we spend together. The only complaint I have heard so far is that there isn’t enough time for Manadoob and it should be multiple times per week. I guess I wouldn’t really consider that a complaint but a testament to how much they enjoy it!

Although I had planned to be through chapter 7 by now we are still working through chapter 5. To my surprise, after each question if I offer the chance to share every member raises their hand.   Because of this, it has become a habit to review and simply go around the table for each person to either share or pass if they wish. Although I feel somewhat pressured for time to be able to cover the material in the amount of time we are able to dedicate to Manadoob, I feel that having meaningful discussion is far more beneficial to the kids. As a group we decided to spend extra time discussing what we are learning and made the story assignment in chapter five a take home option.

L1, T, L2, and S1, all offered to share what they felt it means to be shy. After each shared I pointed out the theme I had noticed - that each of them perfectly described characteristics of themselves, a perfect response to “what shy means to you.” We talked of the importance of understating how each person’s perception may be different but just as relevant and worthy of respect. I asked if each of them would consider themselves to be shy and with smiles they all said yes. I was proud of their willingness to share this, in a way challenging that shy characteristic they each saw in themselves. L1 shared how much effort she feels it takes for her to socialize and speak to others and many of the other members showed their agreement and support of her statement.

We discussed our group and how to keep it a safe space for sharing, that each of them feel a bit less shy in this space. During this discussion L1 also shared that she feels she relates to Wella in a very important way, the loss of a pet. I was touched that she would share something so personal after just two meetings with our group. I feel for L1’s loss and am impressed with her bravery to talk about the “tough stuff” and create that personal connection to the story.

Our group ended with each being asked to complete the Think and Do activity of spending a day happy and kind. I will be interested to see the results after our talk about shyness. Some seemed hesitant but luckily I will see them through the week and can give subtle reminders and encouragement.

Session 2

We had our second session last Thursday; once again it was a very small group of 5. Although I have been recruiting it just hasn’t seemed to work out yet. I am expecting a bit larger turn out for our next session and still aiming for about 10 Club members.

Our session for the day covered chapter two and chapter three, which focused on family units and seeing beauty and magic. Our group is a little bit quiet and shy, understandably so since we are early in the program. I notice that group dynamics are starting to be formed and find myself concerned with making sure the real reason for the group stays in the forefront.

Since in the last entry I gave the update on how past Manadoob members were doing it seems appropriate to now introduce this group, although it is still fairly small.

S2 is an eleven year old girl who seems very mature for her age. She has younger siblings which may account for this quality, as well as her patient and thoughtful personality. She has been fairly quiet in group so far but when she speaks the group takes notice. She is very thorough in her workbook and has shared her thoughts several times.

L2 is ten years old and in some ways reminds me of S2. He is very considerate of other members, quiet, and patient. However, I also see L2 as a group leader; he is well spoken and the thought he puts into what he shares is obvious. He sets a positive example for others as he follows along and asks questions related to the material as well as of other members, trying to acknowledge connections within the group.

HR is the youngest member so far at nine years old. She is the most talkative and for the time being is very interested in knowing what is going to happen next and when we will use the program kit materials. She is brave to share personal experiences in just the two sessions we’ve had so far and it is apparent she needs and wants a safe place to talk about sensitive topics.

MG is a member who I had never really spoken to before creating this group. I had however noticed how quiet she is and thought this may be a good opportunity to provide her with support and let her feel safe enough to come out of her shell. She has shocked me with speaking openly and her willingness to read aloud. She is eleven and has a bit of trouble staying focused and understanding the topics fully but instead focuses on connecting with others in the group.

Manadoob Updates

For those of you who are loyal followers of the Boys & Girls Clubs of Central Oregon – Bend Branch Manadoob Program here is an update of what’s happening.

As Ryan mentioned at the end of last school year he changed positions and is now the Teen Director. Under Ryan’s leadership the Teen program is consistently growing and Club members are increasingly more involved in not only their events but also giving back to our local community. Ryan is a natural fit for the Teen Director and has already fostered many positive relationships with the youth enrolled.

My name is Alley and I will have the pleasure of facilitating the Manadoob Program for Club members this year. I have worked with youth and families in a Boys & Girls Club setting for the past 7 years and couldn’t ask for a better job. The youth we have the opportunity to interact with on a daily basis are absolutely amazing! I am in my final year of the Master’s in Social Work program through Portland State University and am anxiously awaiting graduation day.

I plan to keep much of the program the same as Ryan did: class size of 10, weekly updates, and a celebration at the end of the program. I thought that a fitting way to start the year would be a quick update on past Manadoob participants for those of you who followed the blog last year and may be wondering about the progress of these youth post-Manadoob.

BL is still a Club Member and doing well. She continues to interact with others in a positive way and has developed her own group of friends who she enjoys spending time with at the Club.

KJ is continuing his work on aggressive behavior and using verbal communication in a positive way to express how he is feeling. He attends the Club most days and is generally unpredictable with his moods but the progress is noticed by staff.

CS2, in my opinion, has shown a very noticeable change in his behavior and how he carries himself. He is much more confident, social, and engaged in Club activities. He loves interacting with staff and has positioned himself in a way within the Club that ensures daily discussions with staff members.

CS1 has started this school year on a positive note.  He is now a role model for his peers and instead of being too distracted to complete or remember homework he often prefers to finish before playing.  He also encourages his new friends to do their homework as well.

HJ is a current Club member but has not attended more than a few days so far this year.

CM has become a much more social young lady. She is often the starter of conversation and instead of just smiling when addressed will answer confidently.

CJ is staying busy this year and is once again a participant in Girls on the Run, a self-esteem building program that combines health-based lessons with physical activity (training for an end of the season 5K event). She is often beaming when she comes in from practice and enjoys sharing her experiences with others.

RJ, MZ, and FR are not current Club Members.

Looking forward to a wonderful year!

More to come soon…

Alley

Final Session

So this is it.  We had our last meeting today with a pizza party and a viewing of the DVD.  I was worried, given the nature of documentaries, that it would be difficult to keep them interested and focused, but they loved it.  They wanted to watch it again!  There were some very interesting conversations and revelations, and a couple of moments got me a little teary eyed.  I never used to tear up about anything, but since I was diagnosed with Cancer it happens all the time.  I suppose I'm more in touch with my inner feelings than I was, but it's irritating, the kids make fun of me!

I don't know when I'll be teaching Manadoob again, though I suspect it will happen in the future.  I passed it along to a counselor who came in to do a workshop with my teens about effectively managing emotions so hopefully she will be able to incorporate it into what she does.  Networking is everything.  Still, it was a sad day, realizing that for the foreseeable future I won't be teaching Manadoob anymore.  I really fell in love with the program and I feel like I really hit my stride this year as a teacher.  At least I will be able to pass on what I've learned to whoever teaches it next.

Some good things today.  We talked a lot about communication.  The kids thought, at first, that there was no way to talk to animals.  I pointed out to them that speaking English is not the only way to communicate and that dogs spoke too.  They were skeptical at first but came around once I explained it to them.  I also talked to them about how verbal communication is actually one of the least important forms of communication and that body language and tone communicate far more information.  At the end of the DVD, I asked them what they learned from the video that they didn't know before.  CS told me that he didn't realize you could communicate without talking and that he saw how the people and animals communicated their love and understanding of each other through the way they touched and interacted.  CJ told me that she learned that people and animals can help each other with mutual problems and bring physical and emotional healing to each other.  There were many other insights as well but I'm running out of time!

I did a brief interview with CJ which I will be offering up to Manadoob to use as they see fit.  She was one of the rock stars of my group and she gained so much from it.  This is a bit of a spoiler from the interview, but, at the beginning of the class, she was having nightmares and really struggling.  She told me that Manadoob has helped her to overcome her nightmares and her fears, and she is sleeping comfortably again!

Well, I will respond to any comments (including the ones from last week I have not gotten to), and thanks again for sharing this experience with me and interacting.  All the best to all of you!

P.S.  They BEGGED me to do Manadoob one more time!

Session 14: Endings & Beginnings

Short session today.  In honor of Wella's excitement over the future, I couldn't help but point out that endings and beginnings are pretty much the same, or at least they often arrive at the same time.  In this case, they definitely have.

So before I share my thoughts from today, I talked to my boss about Manadoob next year, and I won't be able to teach it in the future.  However, our Education Director, who has been with the Club longer than I, will be transitioning to a role where she will have more interaction with families and help in coordinating support for them much like a case worker (she is getting her Master's Degree in Social Work).  While I am sad to hand it off, Alley is an amazing asset to the Club and to the lives of our members.  Her greater communication with parents will also likely give her tools to supplement what she is teaching in the class by bringing her insights and lessons into another forum.  I don't want to let Manadoob go, but it couldn't be in better hands.

I don't have much to say about today's session, but it definitely had a somewhat somber tone to it.  It was bright for a moment when I told them that they FINALLY (to them) get to take their kits home.  But, for the most part, it was pretty quiet and unassuming.  There was the feeling that things were ending, and it was a gray rainy day here after weeks of sunshine and hot weather, so the energy was just low.  Still, I asked them if they are going to miss the program, and they all answered heavily in the affirmative.  Well, all of them except RJ, who firmly stated that she wouldn't miss it at all because she hates everything.  So I asked her why she only comes on Manadoob days, and she said so she could get the kit at the end.  I asked her why she wanted the kit so much if she didn't like the program, and she mumbled something dismissively.  So, even the girl who is mad at EVERYTHING grew and came to like the program.

In fact, perhaps in the last great Manadoob moment I will experience, RJ and I had an interesting connection.  We were talking about good things we can do for other people, and RJ said she could ignore them.  I asked why that would help them, and she said because she wouldn't be mean to them.  So RJ and I had a discussion about how not doing mean things is not the same as helping them.  I expected significant resistance on her part to that idea, but I saw sincere thought and consideration in her eyes.  Usually she is dismissive or confrontational, but she really considered my words.  Shocked isn't the right word, but something just a notch lower than that.

Next week we will be having a pizza party and watching the DVD, so it's not quite over.  I will have some final thoughts next week after it is officially over.  In the meantime, thanks again for reading, and commenting, and really just caring about the lives of these kids you have never met!  I will do my best to get some pictures, but it's difficult because I'm never downstairs with the kids anymore.

Ryan

Session 13: The Home Stretch

Perhaps the biggest compliment I have recevied in Manadoob is the fact that the children are often amazed by how quickly the class has gone.  Today, when they found out we only had one more day after this before we were done with the book and the workbook, they were so upset!  Part of this is a reflection of me as a teacher, and part of it is obviously a reflection of the amazing job that Manadoob does to engage children and keep them engaged even when there are weeks separating classes at and a continuous story that takes place over months.

Today we discussed belief in ourselves and why it is important to success in every part of our lives.  HJ pointed out that belief in yourself is about half of all of the effort you need to put into something.  We also discussed Wella learning to become more confident in her life and why that came about.  CS surprised me by tying it back to an earlier point about facing your fears.  All of the kids agreed that the Manadoob, Moobia Stones, and Yama Cruz contributed to Wella discovering her confidence, but only CS recognized that a big part of Wella's confidence came from the fact that she faced her fears and overcame them, giving her the courage and sense of self needed to grow.

After that we talked about patience and how valuable patience can be in our lives.  At that point I was down to two students, so it just got kind of goofy and fun and we joked about little brothers and how annoying they are.  We also talked about our lives and just kind of hung out.  RJ, who is normally pretty surly and taciturn, really opened up and had a number of positive interactions with CS over the last 20 minutes or so.  It really seems like Manadoob has become a high point of her week and her behaviour is exemplary when she is there, even though her behaviour outside has stayed pretty consistent.  It's too bad that it is going to end, but I think the lessons have really sunk in.

So Manadoob and the year are coming to an end, and the summer is about to begin.  I find myself very reflective, wondering if this will be my last Manadoob class and thinking back over the moments I have shared as a result of the program and the amazing children I have worked with.  One more day of class, one day with a pizza party and watching the video, and then our class is over.  It will be fun to talk to the kids about what they learned, but it feels a little bit like a family is breaking up.  I hope they feel that way as well and retain the connections they've made and the lessons they've learned.

Cheers All.

Ryan

Hiatus 2

Sorry for the tardy absent message all.  The last couple of weeks I have been sick/busy, and my class was ahead of itself, so we've had some time off.  Back this week though!  Cheers.